I’ve been “gone”. I’ve been distracted, busy, crazy, stressed, lost & confused, creative, making things happen, transforming….all of that and more. I certainly haven’t been “here”. You may have missed me, you may have been busy yourself, you may not have noticed I was gone. But the point is that I did. I have missed myself.
In the past 5 months I’ve lost a cherished family member, got married, shopped for and bought a house, prepped a house to sell (twice – both full and empty), renovated a house to live in, packed, moved, unpacked, and spent lots and lots of money. And that doesn’t include the strain of the incredible events on our world and national scenes that have affected us all. I know most of us have been through a lot lately. I don’t know about you but, I”m pooped! And all of these things were lovely, crazy, sad, miserable, transformative; and also either necessary, out of my hands, or fully my choice. They happened, and now I get to decide how I feel, think, and believe about that, and myself and my life going forward.
One of the big things I noticed is that when life gets crazy the first thing I jettison are the things I do to keep sane and clear about who I am. My rituals, practices, and meaningful life steps go by the wayside. Some of these things include making things (like dream boards or books), meditating, walking outside, taking catnaps, writing in my journal, drawing oracle cards, being silly. Some of these things I manage to do in shorthand – my prayers become my meditative time, I make a pretty image with a camera, I read in short spurts between crazed actions – especially funny books. This helps, but the truth is that after so many changes and not taking the time to really check in with myself I’m wondering who the heck I am now. That lost, ungrounded feeling isn’t fun. In the past not stopping this train has made me sick.
So, it’s time to get back to me – to explore how all of these outer changes have impacted my inner person and how I see myself. This may sound fluffy, or selfish, even ridiculous, but the truth is this is where the deep work is – inside. This where my behavior comes from – those unexamined beliefs can have a huge impact on how I react in situations and with other people. And the exciting thing is that I am really beginning a new life – new town, new husband, new home, new office. I’m a wife, I’m no longer a cat servant (at least for now), I’m the mother of a 20 year old(!), I’m starting from scratch with my garden, I’m a business woman…again!
As I work through this process more things will change to reflect this new place and person I’m becoming. I’m planning a revamp of my website, new offerings, courses both locally and online, more posts and ideas. And in general I feel a strong rekindling of my desire to help, to serve, to share with you insights, tools, practices, ideas, and concepts that really will help you deal with the tough stuff, and especially to uncover and bring to life your audacious dreams. This is who I am, and it feels amazing to be back!
Here’s to a new-ish me!! And a delightful New Year to you!
With Love, Cheryl